Fairydust

I thought I'd changed,
But it's still here...
Still waiting,
Still the same.

I only wanted to run,
Away from the monster,
Away from me,
To reach what is missing.

I never seemed to understand
The dark let-down.
The sadness,
The monotonous drawling.

Walking around with a hole in my chest,
A missing part,
An empty trunk,
A gaping heart.

Life may be simple,
But it was never meant to be easy.
Plagued by termites of inadequacy,
Climbing stairways to heaven,
That reach higher and higher,
Somehow never-ending.

How I long for someone,
Just to hold my hand.
To lead the way, & point a magic wand,
To spread magic & fairydust, remove reality.