Unnamed

You have no idea of the damage you have done,
Of the depth and severity of your actions.
The moment you stole my power,
& made me watch helplessly as you took what was mine.

I'm sure you're familiar with wondering if you'll ever be okay?
Because of you, this is who I am for yet another day.

You took my innocence & trust with the intent to destroy,
And you will never comprehend the ramifications that it had on me.
You will never know how what you've done,
Has affected me to the core.

It feels like years & the wounds still rub raw,
You still find a way to make me relive with you did to me.
You made sure that I knew that I could never escape.

The pain & anguish was unbearable,
& It was your strength, your oxygen.
My hopelessness & despair gave you life.
While I struggled drowning, I ended up losing touch with who I am.

With the broken pieces that I had left,
Having lost too much time already,
I fumbled to piece the shards back together,
& piece my life back together.

With the remnants of me laying splintered,
I had to reach inside, within what was left of me,
To the very bottom, to find the strength to escape you,

Sixteen months later & the pain is still raw,
& while I've seen the world,
& laid with women,
I see the world through different eyes.

I could spend eternity licking my wounds,
Because the scars you left me with still run deep,
Still stop me from living.
Like being held with barbed wire.

I can't feel normal because of you.
Too scared to let women close,
Now too damaged for meaningful intimacy,
I'm left wading this water in the dark.
Well, it's a good thing I know how to swim.

Because I've known you too long,
And I know you too well-
You would never wish the best for me,
Or hope that I'm okay,
Because you maliciously made me suffer.

And that is the best solice,
The difference between you & your family,
And me.
Because I will never harm a soul intentionally.
And my potential is my best revenge.